so that wasnt chicken after all
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
