Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
