I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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