My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
