Don't make out with my wife yet
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
