can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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