It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
