at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
