I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
