he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
