Dual....:-)
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
