We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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