I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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