At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
