either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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