can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
