You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
this beer tastes like vomit already
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
