I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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