That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
