The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
