do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
