You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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