whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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