Your face is a jimmy john
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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