I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
