It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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