I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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