can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
