threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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