so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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