Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
