She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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