Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
