Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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