I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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