I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You can't special order awesome
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
