____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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