I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
