Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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