I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
