The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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