I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
