and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
