addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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