Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
pray to the hookup gods
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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