you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
