You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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