I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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