Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
nutella sex= disaster
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
