Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
