My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
