is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
